No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
