My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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