Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
