He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
