I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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