just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
