Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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