Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
