like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's official drugs can't kill me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize