if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This baby is an asshole
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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