saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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