I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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