I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
