go do what you do best...puke behind churches
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
