Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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