I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We just shotgunned beers for America
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
