I can text with my tongue
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
