I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
