Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
