the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
