he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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