Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
