Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We have so much sex to catch up on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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