Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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