I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick