my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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