Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
