Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
