oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize