Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
