There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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