Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
