his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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