Swine flu. Run for my life!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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