I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize