In the future we'll all be gay
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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