Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
