Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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