My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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