Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
