There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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