it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
