I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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