To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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