meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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