Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
