Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
