I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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