so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
