literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize