i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
