I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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