I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
