I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
