just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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