Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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