I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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