I hate your face
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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