i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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