hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
