Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can I color on your dick again?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
