called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize