found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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